Strategies for effective mentoring: Showing up and being present

Allison McWilliams

Allison McWilliams

Allison McWilliams is assistant vice president, mentoring and alumni personal & career development.  She writes occasional articles for Inside WFU.  This is her second for the fall 2019 semester.  In each, she shares observations and suggestions with faculty and staff from her professional experiences with students.

When we think about the core expectations for any effective mentoring relationship, one of the fundamentals is building interpersonal relationships based on respect and accountability. And that work is about showing up, keeping one’s commitments, and being present. Generally speaking, we think of this as an expectation for the mentee, and it is something that should be expected of anyone seeking mentorship. After all, if you aren’t willing to show up and work on your growth and development, then why should I give up some of my time to mentor you?

And, showing up and being present are critical strategies for anyone wanting to serve as mentor, too. In fact, sometimes the best thing that you can do for another person is just to be a consistent presence in their life, someone who is available when needed. This doesn’t mean that you drop everything for the other person, or that you don’t set appropriate boundaries. It does mean demonstrating that the other person and their growth and development matter to you. Here are three tips on how to show up and be present for your mentoring relationships:

Be prepared. Take the time to prepare for the conversation. Make a list of key questions you can ask, resources you can suggest, or connections you can make. Reflect on the last conversation you had, and any follow-up points. After the conversation, take a moment to jot down some notes so that you will remember these things for the next time you are together.

Hold the time sacred. Just like any other meeting, do your best not to reschedule or cut short your mentoring meetings. These should be, in some respects, the most important meetings on any given day. When you show up late, cancel without notice, or constantly schedule over this time, you demonstrate to your mentee that they don’t matter to you and that you aren’t committed to the relationship.

Be present. Do your best to remove distractions. Turn off your phone, shut down your email, and put a do not disturb sign on your door. Better yet, get out of your office and go somewhere that is unrelated to work: go for a walk, go to a coffee shop, or find another space where you can’t be tempted by work distractions. Mentoring conversations don’t have to be long but you do need to be present, fully, no matter the time allotted.

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